If you ever want to know why I am starting this blog, here is a short rundown
Work reached a point where the only solution was to resign
2019/2020 my feelings and experiences at work were intense. It induced a true depression at some point, which was one scary experience, I lost my voice, my autonomy, remembered and collected trauma.
Maybe one day I will get into it - but until then what is important to know, is I realised I was living an existence I was not happy with, and had been for many years, and every shred of hope that re-spawned within me was drained by work related issues.
I finally understood that components of work just were, everyone was doing their best and my values and expectations just did not align. That helped me let go, because I realised it would not get better, and I had done enough work on my mind to also not blame everything on the entity I worked for.
Year ahead of me!
I have a year ahead of me with no solid plans to re-enter the work force. That's scary as I have been working since I was 17! A disembodied Indian Uncle voice in my head keeps saying "You layabout b**tard!". However now I am at a place in my life where I can afford to have this immense privilege of taking a break, so please Uncle in my head, chill.
The only calling in my heart right now is art. Since 2019 this has been the one thing that has helped me stay out of the darkest of holes. I am aware that I have much trauma to heal, gratitude to express, and art is my way to do that.
So I have decided to spend the next year on doing art/learning so I can see how far I can progress to skill-wise as an artist. I would love to have the ability to render whatever is in my mind, onto the canvas. Maybe one day even teach and help others like I have been helped. In order to do this, I need to learn, practise, share. Do the work!
So here I am!
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"Anything is possible if you have enough nerve" Ginny Weasley