Yesterday, while recording a vlog, I impulsively opened my God Jar.
That sounds Pandora-Boxy, but it was a beautiful experience, especially as it was so off the cuff.
OK WTF is a GOD Jar?
It is a jar (in my case an old olive jar), that you seal shut, and protect or ward (if that's your thing). Inside it, you put any large, overwhelming thought or anxiety, by writing it on a slip of paper and popping it into the jar. Once in, you try your best to let that anxiety go!
I started mine in 2020, and have changed the outside at least every year. I only periodically put paper inside it though, and only when I felt/feel extremely overwhelmed. It's almost like the ultimate lifeline...
On my vlog (for time reasons), I didn't put every single note I pulled out of my God Jar, but here is the full list (sans 2 that I am not yet going to share):
They all start with "Dear Universe:"
I call in money for a new camera, tripod, and memory card, it's in your hands now, Tam.
I want to be a full time artist
I am scared of failure. Scared that I am no good at the one thing I love; ART.
I really DO want to add value, I am just not sure how.
I don't know the way. Show me the path.
I am afraid I just wont be good enough, that I wont resonate.
Worried that I am not doing enough of the things I DON'T want to do. Will I ever be ready to teach on Lifebook [2020]
I am worried about my future...
I am still afraid that I don't know the way, I don't know if what I am doing is right.
Please help me make money for art supplies (lol).
How can I justify all my expenses? When my success is not guaranteed.
I leave this social media thing in your hands
I am exceedingly weak. I need people to not be hurt by me. Please, please keep me safe from those people who drain my energy. If not for me, then for my art. Please give me strength.
I want to work WITH Caylee Grey.
I am absolutely thrilled, astonished, just shocked, that I MAY get to be on book of days.
I am afraid to be rejected by artists in this community - I am afraid to be rejected by Effy Wild.
This was such a wild trip! There were fears in there about rejections I had yet to experience, experiences still out of my grasp, fears about money, my value. I was blown away.
I was also blown away with how many of these fears and requests transformed into things I wanted. I have that new camera, I am a teacher on Life Book now, I am in commune with Effy Wild, and this community has opened their hearts and minds to me!
I hope you will give a God Jar a try, it feels very different to me than praying or writing in a journal. When I put something in there, I have huge FAITH and confidence that it will either be sorted out for my good or fully. Either by greater forces OR by the seed I planted in myself.
I am off to make a new one - and I hope something resonated in here with you! ;)
Lots of Love
Tam / Tamka
Over the years, I have had some different images in it.