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Make Bad Art...Well

*Warning - I used the word shit a lot, excluding the time I used it in this sentence*





This past week has seen me diverge from the "beautiful" art I have been making since I started painting, and leaning into the slightly weird.


I am not doing it on purpose, I wish I were, then maybe I would feel like I know what the heck I am doing. I am just following the pull of my heart and the movements of my hand, and I feel more authentic than I have in a long time.


Authentic to me, in this context means artwise I am doing what I want, with what I have, and I am not too overly concerned if people like it. I mean I am not trying to freak anyone out with what I do, and if your sole taste in art is whimsy and beautiful women, then the stuff I have drawn over the last week you may find unpleasant.


The harder part of it all is looking at what I have made and thinking, this is "bad art". It's bad not because it is weird or authentic, but bad because of my own skills, or technique, or line work. So today when I finished an idea of mine, I felt seriously shit. I enjoyed the process, adjusted with care, signed it, and then I felt really...stupid. I thought, "so not only will people not like this (which means people liking my shit is still a concern), but it is also dumb as hell"


I had put love and energy into this thing, which is basically an ugly face with blue eyes stuck on a koi/carp/gold fish hybrid...what's the matter with me, it should at least be good art. The funny thing is there is also a part of me who loves this painting because it has meaning! What's going on here?


Anyway, since I am in the process/journey of healing and not being a dick to myself, I decided to ask myself some questions. After rationalising a bit, I decided this bad art might be bad, but I did it well, and that for now is fine by me.


So some rationalisations from my mind if you ever need it:


- We are going to die anyway, so do what you like, paint everything orange - who cares?

- If you "fail" you're going to end up in the same space you were, as if you didn't do anything at all

- Just make bad stuff, eventually you will learn what makes "bad stuff" so you can change it or work on it, or you may love it so much you don't stop

- Or among all the bad stuff you make, you will find something good

- The more you use your voice, the stronger it gets - same with exercising my authentic art muscle

- And this clichéd phrase "enjoy the process", it's the only part of your work that is guaranteed, so just enjoy the damn process

- Everyone has different taste, thankfully, else we would all have to paint the same crap (or in my case carp)

- Criticise your work next week (As next weeks me is usually kinder to last weeks me's art)

- Truthfully who can decide bad or good art?

- Lol, am I going to be in the Louvre?


- Most important, none of this matters


Then I stumbled onto this video ,and I really enjoyed it; someone talking about making bad art in a more artsy and raw way.


How do you deal with making "bad art"? Or with making bad anything? Remember food, reports, cleaning...these are all art forms, so I wanna hear from you :)


Tamka Out




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Tamara Sagathevan
Tamara Sagathevan
Feb 20, 2021

Hi Reensarai, not laugh, I am feeling grateful that someone can help me see these things! I appreciate your view on it, and most of all saying you connected, as I think more and more, this is what is important, this is what we miss in life during these days, connection - feeling connected, feeling heard, joined all these wonderful aspects of old communion with each other. I have not figured out how to reply TO a comment yet, but as soon as I do I will respond to all your wonderful comments. THANK YOU for taking the time to share so deeply and freely with me!

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Reensarai
Reensarai
Feb 17, 2021

love this blog post,bookmarked for my own moments.

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Reensarai
Reensarai
Feb 17, 2021

You are gonna laugh at this.

I see goldfish in this.

the feathery skirt of fins dancing in the water.

You may think this is bad

if you ask me,

it is just what I have been grappling with this week.

some of the analyze deep dark stuff for work.

I dread it yet there is truth in it to dig through and bring out to the surface.

and after 2 days of analyzing deep and dark to form a report

this is a sci fi mystery movie for me!

thank you for expressing,

the details are beautiful

and parts are so different

yet the variety is so unique interesting and mysterious.

hey I connected to it.

if all art…


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Tamara Sagathevan
Tamara Sagathevan
Jun 02, 2021
Replying to

You are infinitely wonderful. Your time, energy and responses are absolutely appreciated and important to me. You came up in my coaching session yesterday - I said, I do not know where you came from, but you did, and you and my closest family have been the people who have let me and led me to open up. I can't even comprehend this gift I have in you...

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