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  • Tamara Sagathevan

Creative Recovery




By choice, I have been shutting the hell up and getting on with other things in my life recently.


The good thing about that is, my attention has not been diverted by social media. The "bad" thing is, I now have about 3 months of happenings that I have not recorded anywhere digitally. The annoying thing is I can't remember everything in chronological order, and it would take me reading through 2 exercise books of writing to remember.


Broad Strokes then:

  • I started reading and actioning a book called The Artists way by Julia Cameron. I have not finished the book, but I would recommend it in a heartbeat to any creative, especially a blocked creative.

  • This has seen me work through LOADS, shit I didn't even know needed to be worked on.

  • I started with an art coach [Iris Impressions] about a month ago. Heck if this year was supposed to be about being the best artist ever, I better give myself all the damn help I need. So far, it's going brilliantly for me.

  • My productivity, ideas, confidence, clarity has all increased.

  • I cut my hair again, with the dogs scissors, and there is still an internal struggle to shave all my hair off.

  • I discovered Magnum Cone ice-creams and I am addicted

  • I miss my mum and bro, how I miss my dad, and in my heart, I am always 7 and always missing my first little brother

  • I am seriously considering changing the name of my socials etc. I feel like Ruskea is a bit of a mask/armour, it means "Brown" in Finnish, and "Brown" definitely refers to my skin colour. While I am undeniably brown, all the work and release I have been doing has made me rethink the role this plays in my creative life. eg. I would rather see brown in my artwork than just have brown in my name, in Finnish.

  • I am also thinking of making my blog a bit more biographical

  • You know the advice you always get when writing etc. is write for the audience. Well...I don't want to. I want to write about whatever I want, and there must be some other nutcases out there [hello], who would be into it, and if not...

  • At this very selfish stage of my life, I am my audience, so I will write for me.

What else, what else?

  • Oh I have started an imaginary life of me being a Botanist. So the arrival of spring saw me picking flowers and other things and learning the properties of them. I cannot tell you how cool it is.

  • It's Summer in Poland, which means there is a CONSTANT buzz in the air of lawnmowers, weed whackers, renovations...just all the annoying sounds, which make you wish for Winter

I will be upping my blog game, now that I am in a space where I feel a bit more stable to do so. I look forward to writing about creative recovery, or actually transcribing some of my writing from my exercise books here, where I say introspective things like:


"There is a strong smell about, but all the usual suspects aren't present. I daren't believe the smell is from me."

I go for my vaccination this Saturday, if I feel whole and healthy.


Tamka Out!


PS: Some of the lovely weird art I have been doing recently, just for your viewing pleasure.





PS2: I feel really ill when I see that I have made a blog post and a person is mailed about it - I have no idea if that is how it works, or if I changed some setting for that to happen - if you're that person getting some mail, to come and read this drivel, sorry! :)




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