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Borrowed Shreds and Patches

It seems that I am entering another cycle of "work", on myself, traumas, past circumstances, current feelings.


This morning I found myself graciously acknowledging I was headed into this place, if not already a few steps in. A first. I have never gone into doing this cyclical work, this cyclical burning of the old, with awareness that that is what was happening. How new, how scary and exciting, how odd.


I knew that today I had to sit in my feelings. This 'new' action of actively feeling and encouraging a feeling besides happiness, and anger. All my old tactics for coping, fighting to be used, because I know them, they are "easier", their paths so well worn in my brain, their effects so visible on my heart, mind and body...you served your purpose old tactics, thank you for helping me get here, but there is a new way. *Sits down, in my feelings, and 24/7 fluffy gown*


I have to say that art has made it...well not easier...but it has given me a process of dealing with it. Art is not the tactic, but the process - I don't know how to explain it, but there is a fine distinction between it.


As for what I am dealing with, I still am not 100% sure that I can name it yet, bits and pieces are coming up, but nothing is cohesive. I haven't felt that full pang yet, when I know "Ah ha, this is what that is." The click between my unconscious and conscious.


Ancestors are on my mind though...the ones we put in our shrines and the ones we try to wipe from our minds.


Tamka Out

Effy Wild Blog Along Sept 2021 - come along?



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I love how you expressed that about ancestors. Sitting with our "stuff" or sitting and listening to the ancestors, or waiting on them which ever the case may be is hard stuff.

Thank you for sharing xx

いいね!

Jean Puhlman
Jean Puhlman
2021年9月14日

Sitting in our feelings certainly is not easy. Sometimes that's all we can do until they talk to us and share their story. Interesting painting I've felt like that myself.


いいね!
tamaralsagathevan
tamaralsagathevan
2021年9月14日
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Thank you Jean, sit and wait patiently

いいね!

不明なメンバー
2021年9月13日

Interesting read.

いいね!

Nolwenn PETITBOIS
Nolwenn PETITBOIS
2021年9月13日

I wonder, what do you feel about the "The click between my unconscious and conscious."Do you usually have a way to deal with this click? (being there myself and it keeps me both more aware and with more questions lol)

いいね!
tamaralsagathevan
tamaralsagathevan
2021年9月14日
返信先

It takes huge awareness to get there. I think it depends on what the 'topic' was about. When it was about me leaving the traps of work, it was a click that made me feel heard, validated and like I was on the right path - so I jumped into my actions part of my personality. However when it turned out my last cycle was about sexual trauma [which I was adamant it was NOT! Because I had dealt with it 2 years earlier], I fought the click, and then realised that was pointless - so I accepted and felt, and RAGED, wept, allowed my partner to be there for me, and in this case, the only "action" was to…

いいね!
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